The Colony of Definitely Not a Cyptopiriot Spy is a huge, orderly nation, renowned for its compulsory military service and restrictive gun laws. The hard-working, cynical, devout population of 681 million NOT Cyptopiriots are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Spirituality, Law & Order, and Healthcare. The average income tax rate is 32.2%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The NOT Cyptopiriot economy, worth 30.8 trillion Not Centimes a year, is dominated by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 45,248 Not Centimes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.3 times as much as the poorest.

Talking during class is a gateway to lifelong drug addiction, children who display even minimal sporting aptitude are immediately assigned a personal trainer, virtual assistants are seen with increasing suspicion every time they get an upgrade, and Definitely Not a Cyptopiriot Spy has designated Definitely Not a Cyptopiriot Spy City as its capital city. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Definitely Not a Cyptopiriot Spy's national animal is the Not a Phoenix.

Definitely Not a Cyptopiriot Spy is ranked 108,701^st in the world and 2^nd in Praeterea for Highest Food Quality, scoring 21.48 on the Meeshlin-Starr Index.